Volley back like lost spring

last spring,

before I cut my hair off in a bid to
convince myself I was someone
I was not. Trying to bargain
with powers that I could not find
anywhere but the thin glass
screen of my computer when
Muriel taught me about
prayer. That’s the only thing
I can hang on to when I lose
myself in the thoughts. It takes me from
my present into the past and I
wish to worship without idolization.
The two are so intertwined I don’t
know how to free myself so much
of the time.

7/7/2021