On an airplane

Since I was little, I lose perspective sometimes, 
picture myself thicker, 
but smaller, 
my bicep as big as my thumb,
disproportionate. 

The first time it happened
was when I was sick.
So sick.
4th grade. 
I woke up from a nightmare screaming, 
in the playroom,
fists ready for a fight. 

Then I felt the disproportion
of being too small and too big.
The feeling used to make me sick,
now I feel like I can control it,

like it's familiar. 

Like on days when I'm a bit nauseous
and a bit lightheaded.

I close my eyes, 
and feel my body from a new perspective. 

7/27/2018